My Favorite Song Right Now

Hey ya'll. I've shamfully neglected ya'll these past few weeks. For some strange reason, I would like ya'll to know my current favorite song, which I've been obsessing over for about the past weak and a half.

It's...

Back Where I Come From
By: Kenny Chesney

It's my aunt's fault that I love this song right now, because she's getting married in June. Her friends are taking her to a Kenny Chesney concert for her bachlorette party in Baltimore, and I'm so mad! But anyway, run over to You Tube and check out a video, which is also on my blog. Enjoy!!

Here's Your Sign Jokes

I'm not a huge Redneck comedy fan, although I do listen to the Foxworthy Countdown every week. However, I think that the "Here's Your Sign" jokes by Bill Engvall are hilarious. Some of them anyway. So, I'm posting some of my favorites. Enjoy!

1.) I just hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that say, "I'm Stupid." That way, you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You'd be like, "Oh, excuse me.. never mind. I didn't see your sign!"

2.) My wife and I moved from Texas to California. Our house was full of boxes, and there was a U-haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over, goes "Hey, you moving?" I said, "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week, just to see how many boxes it takes." Here's your sign.

3.) Last time I was home, I was driving around and had a flat tire. I pulled my truck over to one of them little gas stations and the attendent came out. I swear he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist, I said, "Nope. I was just driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me!" Here's your sign.

4.) You know, I was watching one of them animal shows on Discovery Channel, and there was some guy inventing a shark-bite suit. There's only one way to test that... " Now we want you to jump in, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you!" Here's your sign.

5.) Well, myu wife and I were trying to sell our car about a year ago. Well, some guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. He gets back to the house, gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then goes, "Dang, that's hot!" See, if he would have been wearing a sign, I could have stopped that. Here's your sign.

6.) My wife and I learned this a long time ago, we don't play board games together. Like, we were trying to play Pictionary together one night, and she was like, "Draw Draw DRAW Bill. Come on Bill, scribble, come on Bill, what is that? Oh great Bill. Now we're losers. Let's just change the name on the mailbox to Mr. and Mrs. Loser." Here's your sign.

7.) We're playing Pictionary, and the girls need one drawing to win the game. My wife is guessing. Ya'll, her partner drew a straight line, and my wife goes, "Hydroponic Farm?" And the girls are like YEAHHHH!!! Meet Mrs. Milton Bradley.

8.) We tried playing Scrabble one night, oh what a joke. My wife keeps busting out words that I've never even heard of, and I'm busting out words like "et." She goes, "What kind of a word is that?!" I told her, "Like, he et his biscuit. Past tense, I believe, sweetie."

Stupid Quotes

I'm bored right now, so I'm posting a list of stupid stuff that I think is funny. Now please keep in mind, I am a blonde. I have always been blonde, and always will be blonde. So my idea of funny may be your idea of retarded...

• Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious.
• How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby.
• Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl.
• I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.
• Fruit Loops are just gay Cheerios.
• Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver.
• Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.
• Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.
• The world is more like it is now then it ever has before.
• Boxing’s all about getting the job done as quickly as possible, whether it takes 10 or 15 or 20 rounds.
• The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
• I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity.
• I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad.
• Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.
• The largest crowd ever in the state of Las Vegas.
• A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
• Thank God I'm an Atheist.

Now for some more...

• "Outside consultants sought for test of gas chamber." - Ad in Arizona Republic
• "I invented the internet". - Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President
• "I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." - Alicia Silverstone, Actress
• "See the New York Jets play the Cinncinnati Bagels this Sunday on NBC." - Announcer on WNBC station
• "We are unable to announce the weather. We depend on weather reports from the airport, which is closed, due to weather. Whether we will be able to give you a weather report tomorrow will depend on the weather." - Arab News report
• "Most hotels are already booked solid by people, plus 5,000 journalists." - Bangkok Post
• "Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again." - Barbara Boxer, Senator
• "I don't think the Republicans can damage my character" - Bill Clinton, former U.S. President
• "Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there." - Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster
• "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.
• "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." - Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice.

I hope ya'll enjoyed my post. If you have something funny to say, say it here!

Another Post About Nothing

I'm typing a short post, really just to get an April post. I haven't published a post yet in April. Hope all of ya'll had a happy spring break, I certainly did, after all. I mean, come on. How many girls get to meet a NASCAR driver on spring break? Answer me that...

The biggest problem of the week was that I had to wear a dress on Easter Sunday, something that I do once a year. So no matter how much my Aunt Trina would beg for me to wear a dress to her wedding (which won't happen, considering that she wasn't going to wear a wedding gown herself), I will say no. AHAHAHAHAHA... wait for it... HA!

And, if I'm not mistaken, my Braves are on tonight, which fixes any problem. Let us hope that we fare better tonight than we did on Monday, which, by the way, was a spectacular game despite the outcome.

So I bid you all adeiu (no clue if I spelled that right) and Good Morning!